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Thursday, November 4, 2010

Living with Endo-Part 2

The ultrasound did reveal that I did have an ovarian cyst and I would need to follow up in six months for another ultrasound. The six months went by and the ultrasound couldn't detect an ovarian cyst. So, we tried another doctor because although the cyst was gone, I was still in pain when I menstruated, ovulated and during intercourse. In my heart something was not right but tried to be patient. I switched doctor offices and thought to myself, maybe now I could get some answers. The first visit was very detailed but I was still getting the same answer that your periods were normal. How was feeling like you were going to die every month considered normal? Since the ultrasound resulted in no more cysts, we began TTC again.

So we tried and tried and nine months went by,  friends and co-workers were pregnant. Not us! It seemed like I was stuck in a bubble only to watch everyone else moving forward with their life. I became very uneasy and a little depressed. Can you blame me? My husband became frustrated with the situation and TTC wasn't very enjoyable anymore. It became a chore that everyone despised. I would have pain during intercourse that I would try to deal with in hopes that this time might be the one. But it never was. I had co-workers telling me, ya just gotta relax. "My husband just needs to look at me and I'm pregnant again", was my favorite one. Or "It took my sister a long time to get pregnant but when she stopped trying and it happened when they were relaxed. Clearly these people meant well but that was the last piece of advice I needed to hear.

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