It's been a year later and I have proof that TIME DOES HEAL. I am proud to announce that I am 37 weeks pregnant. I never imagined in a million years I would be able to say this. I pinch myself every morning for reassurance that this is still a reality come true.

Throughout this whole journey, I never lost hope and continued to fight without looking back. I wouldn't be the person I am today if I hadn't experienced heartache and suffering. Helen Keller once said,  "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."  I hope to inspire those who are traveling down the path I once walked. Always remember that there is a light at the end of each tunnel.

Time Does Help Heal

I've heard this saying many times but never really believed it. Time does have a way of easing the pain. I've given myself some time off from the stress of trying to start a family. As a result, I feel more at peace with everything in my life. I've learned to accept that if it was really meant to be for me to be a mother, than it would have happened or could happen.

Anyway, my husband and I have decided to keep our options open by recently taken steps to become foster parents. We were never the type of people who felt that in order to have a child -IT MUST BE OURS. There are so many children out in this world that are in need of loving homes. It's quite mind blowing. To answer the question for those of you who want to know if we thought about adoption, Yes. We researched it and it's not something we can accommodate into our budget. I don't see how these agencies can put such a high price tag on children who will given permanency. I mean I know that bulk of the cost is given to the orphanage but there should be a middle ground somewhere.

So this is the new chapter in my life and will be blogging more as the journey continues.

To My Endo Sisters:

I recently starting seeing a nutritionist and chiropractor as a test. It was really to see if I needed the fertility treatments and the god forsaken drugs. As a result, I feel like a totally new person! I cannot thank my sister-in- law enough. I experienced very mild cramping during my last menstrual cycle. For the first time in my life, I could say that I wasn't doubled over in pain for two weeks out of the month! It's amazing what can happen when you just make some modifications to your diet. All I've been doing is cutting out dairy, soy, gluten, wheat, vinegar ( my body is very acidic) and pork products. I am allowed one serving of fruit and animal sourced protein daily.
In the beginning it was rough but I was able to find substitutes- rice milk for milk, soy free eggs for the eggs I was eating and coconut yogurt for dairy yogurt. For supplements I take fish oil, liquid iron and a food based multi vitamin. The chiropractor gives me a pelvic adjustment weekly and should last for about another 3 weeks.
I highly recommend seeing a nutritionist to my endo sisters. Who really knew that my diet was causing me all this pain? That is something these doctors are not going to tell you. So stop letting your doctor pump you up or make you swallow any drugs. Make your appointment today.

Hanging in there

These past couple of weeks I have been focused on moving forward and not looking back. My past is not something to mark as a milestone in my life but did make me the person I am today. For some odd reason that I still don't understand why am I struggling with fertility. I am patiently waiting for the day that I can sit back and say to myself, "it all makes sense now".  FYI if I hear another story about how so-and-so got pregnant after the doctor told her she would never, I think I will lose my mind!!! For some strange and ridiculous reason, why do people feel the need to share these stories with me? It's really not helping me move on if that if what they think. I feel like I am being pushed back about 10 feet after listening to one of these stories. Sometimes people mean well but really should mind their own business.

A New State of Mind

My husband and I have agreed that this fertility route needs to take a detour. My body and not to mention our pockets have been through hell and high waters. Enough is a enough and we have decided to take a more natural approach to this situation. I am exhausted, emotionally drained from this whole experience and need a break. Don't get the impression that I am giving up. I am simply choosing to step away and have intentions of picking up where I ended off. This break will hopefully clear my head to help me relax. Afterall, isn't it when women are not trying they find themselves pregnant. Wish us luck of this new journey.

Moving on...

It's been four days since my Laparoscopy surgery was proven to be successful. I had a cyst removed from my left ovary (the one that was causing all the pain). The tube is said to be opened by my doctor at this time. On the right ovary, I had a hematoma removed. This was most likely caused during the egg retrieval while undergoing IVF .  My doctor thought it was endo because it appeared to be an endometrioma. Other than that, I no longer have any existing endometriosis on any of my organs at this time! I hope to live a pain free life for quite some time.

Dear Endo,

You may have broken my heart into a million pieces and stolen my fertility but I have news for you. I want you to know that you may be winning this battle but you may never take away my soul. Someday you will be history. A cure will destroy your existence forever so you will never infect another woman again.

Until then, I pledge to never stop fighting you no matter how difficult and unbearable you become.

Insincerely Yours,
Your Force to be Reckoned With